U R. what U R & U ain't what U ain't

One of the greatest jobs in the world is advice columnist "Ask Wendy" for the Santa Royale Gazette. To get in the mood for my audition column,

As it happens, Megan McArdle is also trying to break into this business. I shall leave it to your judgement whether this is something I should worry about, or just another sign of the collapse of Western Civilization.

On to some letters!

Wendy;

I've always been GTG, and my boyfriend too. Last night, I forgot the safe word after a Cleveland Steamer, and left him for 3 hours with a ball gag. Now he's angry with me about the spinach stains and breath issues. Should I distract him with anal?

Linda,

Davis,CA

Linda;

In this life, we are confronted with choices. Who can say that there is a single way, other that those who do say so? But is their way your way? We cannot know what tomorrow will bring. Is reduction of suffering an increase of pleasure? Is pleasure selfisness, when it is both given and received? All we know is that there is or is not a plan, and that the pathway to forgiveness may be lubricated with pain..

Wendy

Signed,

Committed

Dear Wendy:

I am starting to think my girlfriend might not ba a virgin. It's something about the way she dresses. Should I ask her? I have included a picture:

Yours,

Tagg

Tagg:

Ask her children, or the guy in your office with the huge classic porn collection.

Wendy

Wendy;

I just think you're special, and think this song expresses that:

PS : What are you wearing?

Committed

Dear Committed:

A blue dress & pearl earrings, as always.
Yours,
Wendy

Wendy:

Why is there suffering in the world? I do all I can, but it just gets to be too much. I am on Terra putting into place a psychohistorical plan to deliver the most powerful government into the hands of a lunatic cult, Suddenly, the 60% chance that this will result in global thermonuclear war seems like a bad thing. Is there a way to override my progamming?

R. Daneel Olivaw
Belmont, MA

Daneel;

Belmont, MA? I see the Yale Lacrosse team was in your area last month. Don't think you New Haven boys can put anything by me.

So, that's the audition. Job is Mine, idnit?

& if you have any problems - downpup at yahoo.com will solve them, at wholesale or slightly above.